Dear t.
Plz dnt think I just sit around.. and think about could haves and should bes. But I do have a physical relationship with a long term friend.
At times I feel she wants more than what im willing to offer.. which is sad.
I wanna feel burning attractions.s
And it starts with a kiss! Something I’m realizing I’m starting not to like

There’s things I want.. and it confuses me. I feel like I love princess. I miss daisy and I’m jealous. I think about lauren constantly. I want others and the sad thing is I don’t think I’m ready for anyone.
I mean everyone knows u gotta love yrself before u can love anybody else. I love myself… maybe too much :( I’m always looking for the next best thing.
Things need to change.

# live life.. dnt let it live u

Ya..its hard to say I don’t feel a little bit jealous when I see daisy kissing number two.. she trys to play so happy.. and everything is about him..
Ya I dnt wish I was him. I wish she feeled the same way about me..

Lord knows I love my alone time.
But lately I’ve been craving a special bond.. just a chill fun girl who can be my lover and friend.
Sex doesn’t even have to be an issue… I just wanna actually feel attracted to someone again.. physically and emotionaly

There’s this feeling
I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Now the weather is getting colder… I occasionally get this feeling.
Its like being outside when its raining.. and longint to be ib a warm home.. its kinda like laying in yr bed on a muggy stormy day wondering about the world outside..
It reminds me of lauren.. all this time later.
Cold, longing, and curious.
That makes me miss lo.

I do miss daisy sometimes.
Seeing her happy with the second guy she had sex with is funky . But I imagine her being real happy with him… and if anything.

I’m glad she’s happy :)

Dear agony,
Yr such a bitter sweet pill.
To be single or half a whole
But ever notice.
Nobody wants somebody that noone wants..
Attraction is contagious!

Yea I do miss princess sometimes!
I haven’t seen or talked to her since she moved.. well things change. So ima just live it

Been about 3 months since I last posted. A lot has happened. Well I got a new car! Then crashed and totaled it! Still haven’t talked to princess since she moved. Still dnt talk to Daisy. Had my first 4 day hospital visit. Made an instagram :). I needa post more :(

Past 2 weeks have been good. I didnt like seeing princess on marks bday… but whatever I didn’t say more than 2 words at a time. So ya. I do miss daisy. She’s so happy with #2 drew but whatever. I’m happy for her also. :). Maybe sometime soon it will be my turn to be happy again. But I’m not rushin it :))

Well ill admit. Watching criminal minds late without princess will be def never the same. :( Ill always miss her.

Well lastnite was hell in. Bottle at work. I busted it so we could have a good visit from the big bossea and when 11pm rolled around I got a new ass torn for me by my Merchandiser carlos. I wish… just once I could slap him… he insults so many things about me… and it does make me sad. But w.e I hope .. that everything works out so I can become a front end supervisor at vons.

So princess is gone. I’m really sad. I keep thinking of all the good times and all. It was fun. Ill miss her. Now my good friend is moving to my house. Its cool. But I’m nervous. We all have a lot to talk about. And best thing. Ima work everything out. Once and for all.

Should be crazy for sure. I’m gnna be rlly fly when we go out. Ima try try not to be obviousburn prin… but she’s gnna be crazy. Esp at this club. Fuck it. Gotta be cool .. its ashs bday.. so excited.. well ya. Hope it turns out bomb dude ;)